Returning from an unscheduled interruption, this is Portable Restroom Operator’s Restroom Reports, your source for not-quite news and sanitation-based satirical snark.
FINLAND — First off, I’ve heard of composting, plywood toilets — who hasn’t? They’re the forebears of today's port-a-potty! But composite wood toilets? I have a harder time picturing that. Never fear though, Finnish design freaks are taking the sanitation world by storm with a composite wood toilet meant for interior restrooms. No word yet on whether the design would be adaptable for portables, or if a lightning rod would be necessary.
CHINA — Across the globe in China, a construction worker’s bathroom break was caught on candid camera when the portable toilet he was in was swept away by a wind gust. Does China have its own version of America’s Funniest Home Videos? They’d have a winner with this one. The nonchalance with which the man pulls up his pants and continues on with his day carries the whole dang clip.
ATLANTA MOTOR SPEEDWAY — It’s been said before, and always bears repeating, but when will anyone remember to lock the bathroom door? NASCAR’s Brad Keselowski sure doesn’t. As a bathroom-dasher, please, please, please lock the door behind you. I’m not knocking in my mad dash to the restroom, so save us both some time.
JAPAN — As portable restroom operators, you’re often a tad vocal about how race events can bring headaches, from poor logistical planning by race organizers to the bad toilet reputation of runners. However, this report out of Japan featuring marathon runners urinating on a sacred garden is a new low in both race conduct and public urination. Never mind the race route had over 1,000 toilets, let’s piss in the bushes.
FLORIDA, IT’S ALWAYS FLORIDA — I live by the old project management credo that you have to pick two in the time-quality-money triangle. In terms of project management, the application is almost universally about dealing with a deficit in one area, but what happens to individuals who have all the time and money in the world to pursue quality? Do their projects automatically reach infinitely upward into gold standards?
Occam’s razor, this is not, but resultant motorized port-a-potty pics, there are. Praise be to Hagerty.
GERMANY — The recent premiere of Holy Shit!, a horror movie set in a portable restroom, drew many laughs from the world at large. In other news, old horror standby Fangoria has successfully metamorphosed into a digital publication. Who knew?!?
That’s a wrap for spring 2023’s Restroom Reports. Send any portable restroom-related links and hijinks to carly.ratliff@colepublishing.com; you could be featured in a future edition of Restroom Reports.
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