Restroom Reports: June 2019

Not-quite news concerning PROs and portable restrooms from around the web

Restroom Reports: June 2019

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TORONTO — It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a portable restroom? Police averted what could have been a rather unfortunate incident in Toronto recently. While looking up, bystanders noticed a portable restroom dangling off the 28th floor of a construction site. The commotion shut down the street below for two hours while the portable restroom was pulled back from the ledge and secured. 

Source: Daily Hive 


THE INTERWEB — Calling all gamers! Sources at www.dbltap.com say that Fortnite’s hidden Fortbyte 13 — an in-game collectible — has been located in a portable restroom south of Paradise Palms and north of the waterfall. For the uninitiated, Fortnite is a monstrously popular online video game released in 2017. It features three distinct game modes to appeal to the greatest number of players; ask the most adjacent kid in your life for a time-sucking demonstration. 

Meanwhile, the creators of Nintendo’s impending Astral Chain action video game promise a hidden, interactive portable restroom on each game level. When the players “use” the restroom, the screen will temporarily go black and, according to Game Rant, the players will receive an as-of-yet-unspecified in-game collectible. How about a bottle of hand sanitizer or a lovely bubble-gum-scented deodorizer?


NEW YORK — You can’t say you weren’t warned about the supposed proliferation of carryable portable toilets. Internet prankster Zeeshan Ali recently demonstrated the downside of too-portable portable toilets on a New York subway, watch the video here.


NORTH FORT MYERS, Fla. — An unsuspecting Shell Factory employee looking to use a portable restroom was in for a jump scare when she opened the door and found two crying velveteen hippos — erm … pit bulls, definitely just pit bulls — peering back, per NBC TV-2. The dogs, which appeared to be mother and pup, had apparently been left with water overnight and neither had ID tags. Lee County Domestic Animal Services removed the dogs, and they were eventually claimed by their owner.


PAINESVILLE, Ohio — Purveyor of toilet-tipper justice, Painesville Municipal Judge Michael Cicconetti has retired according to Fox TV-8. Cicconetti rose to prominence for his use of creative punishments, like making one portable restroom vandal shovel manure at the county fair. A tip of the toilet to Cicconetti, may he have a happy retirement.



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