For all the communicating we do via text message, email and phone, an awful lot of a businessperson’s reputation and success depends on face-to-face communication. And body language speaks volumes.
While the exact numbers depend on the situation and the individual, a decades-old study is still frequently quoted in which UCLA psychology professor Dr. Albert Mehrabian reported nonverbal elements like facial expressions, gestures and posture convey 55 percent of a person’s meaning when he or she communicates.
Much of an individual’s body language has been ingrained since childhood. That’s why mothers nag kids to “sit up straight.” Mom doesn’t want her child’s slouch to become permanent. But a person who has been slinking and slouching through life can refine the messages being sent, and improve back health and overall physical well-being with better posture. Positive body language is a skill that can be learned with practice.
BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE
In a popular 2013 TED talk (available to view at www.ted.com), Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor, explains how we can change other people’s perceptions of us — and our own body chemistry — simply by changing body positions.
Body language affects how others see us, Cuddy says, but it may also change how we see ourselves. The social psychologist shows how what she calls “power posing” can affect our brains, and might even impact our chances for success. Stand for two minutes a day with your hands on your hips like Wonder Woman or with your arms out in a V like you won the 100-yard dash in the Olympics and you may feel like more of a winner and project that success to everyone you encounter.
SET A POSITIVE TONE
Once you’ve finished power posing at home or at work in a bathroom stall, you’re ready to work on your body language in conversations with potential customers, talks with vendors, in staff training, during presentations … everywhere. Start by greeting that potential customer with a firm, but not crushing handshake. Look them in the eye when you greet them to set a positive tone.
8 BETTER BODY LANGUAGE TIPS:
Sit or stand with legs slightly apart. This gives the impression that you are self-confident. Also, when sitting, keep your hands relaxed in your lap.
Use hand gestures that keep your palms up. This indicates openness and friendliness. Gestures with palms down tell the other person that you may be dominant or aggressive.
Be an active listener. Make eye contact, nod while others are speaking, and interject a few verbal acknowledgements such as “yes” or “I see.”
Relax your shoulders. People tend to pull up their shoulders when they feel tension. Being conscious of this and relaxing your shoulders will make you appear less stressed and help prevent neck and back pain too.
Hold your head level both vertically and horizontally. This shows confidence and demands others take you seriously. To indicate you are listening and open to what the other person is saying, you can occasionally tilt your head slightly to one side.
Use your hands. Letting your hands hang at your side during a presentation indicates depression or boredom. Keep your hands in your lap to indicate that you are relaxed, or show involvement and energy by using appropriate gestures.
Keep your hands out of your pockets. Standing with your hands in your pockets can make you appear bored.
Make eye contact with everyone. If you are in a meeting or giving a presentation, try making eye contact with each person in the room at some point unless the size of the crowd makes it physically impossible.
DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, YOUNG MAN (OR LADY)
It’s easy to forget about your body language as a conversation progresses. Don’t just think about body language at the outset, but throughout an entire presentation or discussion. Here are some things to avoid:
Don’t go into that Wonder Woman hands-on-hips pose. That’s great for boosting your confidence before you encounter others. In a conversation or meeting it says you are arrogant or disapproving.
Don’t cross your arms or legs. Arm crossing can be seen as closed off or defensive and is not what you want to present to a prospective customer. When seated across from someone, leg crossing creates a barrier between you and the other person. It may also lead to fidgeting. Placing one ankle on the opposite knee like a number four is viewed as a highly defensive position.
Stop any chair movement. If you are sitting in a chair that swivels, don’t turn back and forth. This is distracting and makes you appear nervous.
Don’t lean back in your chair and put your hands behind your head. This is another position that communicates arrogance or superiority.
Don’t watch the clock. You want the other person to think you have all the time in the world for them.
Refrain from nervous tapping or leg jiggling. Again, this is distracting and makes you appear nervous.
Don’t be constantly looking at your phone or other electronic device. If you feel you need to take notes on an electronic device, let the other people in the room know that’s what you are doing. Then try to look up and make eye contact frequently.
Don’t roll you eyes. You’re not a teenager. If this is your way of indicating boredom or disapproval, get out of the habit. You may think it happens too fast for anyone to notice, but eventually someone will look up just at the right moment and catch you doing it, and then it’s too late to regain respect.
Don’t have shifty eyes that dart all over the room. This will give the person you’re meeting with the feeling that you are dishonest, or at best, uncomfortable. And don’t look past someone when you are engaged in conversation. This gives the impression that you’re looking for a better opportunity.
READING THE BODY LANGUAGE OF OTHERS
While it’s important to be conscious of your own body language, you can also benefit from paying closer attention to the body language of others.
If a job candidate you are interviewing assumes a posture indicating nervousness, try to help them relax. If an employee’s body language indicates that he is tense or angry, try to determine why and what can be done to alleviate the situation. If the arms of the person you are trying to sell your services to are folded across his chest, maybe he is closed off to your ideas and you should try a different approach.
Like learning any language, being fluent in body language takes time and practice, but it is worth the effort when you are perceived as an honest, open, confident businessperson.
